Like all citizens, The
Pummelo takes National Security very serious and to do our part, we are
searching the country for trends in violence and terrorism so that all of us
remain informed and alert. Here are the violators from the past week:
Mississippi – Police in Meridian are looking for a man who
attempted to rob a Burger King restaurant through the drive up window. According to the report, a man pulled up to
the drive up window, wearing a woman’s nylon on top of his head, and demanded
money from an employee while holding a gun in his hand. The employee saw that the man had forgotten
to pull the nylon down over his face to hide his identity and responded by
closing the drive up window and calling 911.
The case is still under investigation.
Idaho – Authorities responded to an elderly woman standing
on her porch yelling, “Help.” When
officials arrived, the woman told the officers that she was calling out for her
grand daughter’s cat, named Help.
Missouri – A patrol car and an ambulance was dispatched in
the small town of Salem after a middle aged woman called 911. The woman’s husband had apparently given
himself and enema and had quickly become confused and argumentative.
Indiana – An elderly man contacted the local sheriff’s
office about a suspicious person and vehicle tampering with people’s
mailboxes. The man stated he thought the
person could be a terrorist. Upon
further investigation, the Sheriff’s deputy discovered it was the mailman and
advised the elderly man to make an eye appointment.
North Dakota – Early Saturday morning, a man called local
authorities to report that someone had broken into their house and stole a
pound of bacon, a container of cream cheese, and a bag of bagels. Upon further investigation, police discovered
that the man’s wife had gotten up for a late night snack and was afraid to
admit it.
Nebraska – An Omaha woman was in court for warrants for
petty theft, public drunkenness, fraudulent check writing, and 12 counts of
failure to appear in court after being released on her own recognizance. The woman appeared before the judge and was
then released on her own recognizance.
Arizona – A store clerk reported to local officials that two
male college students entered the store around 12:05 am, loaded up two large
birthday bags with lots of happy “Have a Nice Day” yellow face stickers,
approximately 40 tubes of vaginal anti-fungal cream, and then left the store
without paying for the items. The
incident is still under investigation.
Arkansas – A woman contacted local officials about someone
ringing her doorbell and running away when she arrived at the door. She believed it was local kids pulling pranks
on her. A patrol unit responded to the
woman’s residence and discovered that a UPS package had been delivered to her
doorstep.
Georgia – A middle-aged woman called her local dispatch and
claimed that someone had broken into her house.
When the woman was asked if anyone was still there or if anything was
missing, the panicked resident replied, “No, but they were messing with my DVD
player because the time is wrong.”
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