|All the guys hoped Chase Masterson would|
be there for a malfunction, but unfortunately
all they got were pictures like this.
Things did not stop there, however. "Once that guy on stage lost part of his costume, all the other Star Trek fans dresses as Klingons thought it would be funny to run around with their nipples out too," said Jean Miller, 31, of nearby Rockford, IL. "My two kids did not need to see an 85 year old woman dressed up as a Klingon running around the convention center with her saggy boob hanging out of 2nd hand Klingon battlearmor."
When all of that chaos settled, William Shatner took the stage and took things to another level with his own wardrobe malfunction that exposed most of his upper chest. "I could have gone my entire life without seeing Kirk's nipples covered in curly gray hair," said John Bradford, 19, of Milwaukee. "Now when I go to bed at night I'm going to have those two gnarly pointy things staring at me..." Bradford shudders. "I think I'm going to have to hire a therapist for awhile."
Howard Sandford, 51, of Chicago, was equally disappointed, but in a different way. "Girls these days don't dress up as Klingons, so there weren't any hot chicks running around with their boobs exposed. And would the convention book someone cute from the franchise like Chase Masterson and would she have a wardrobe malfunction?" Sandford snorts. "Of course not. I've already got 3 nipples. I don't need to see any more man boobs in my life."
Organizers for the event have offered full apologies for the wardrobe malfunctions and have indicated that day two of the convention will be free both in cost and from free-flying nipples.