Thursday, April 14, 2011
Subliminal Messages Via Netflix a Hot Seller
Those successes are coming under question this morning as a source within Netflix who wishes to remain anonymous has contacted The Pummelo and notified us that Netflix has been selling subliminal advertising on their streaming movie and television feeds. "You didn't think they dropped their all you can watch online streaming subscription to $8 because they're nice guys, did you?" our source said. "They can do this because they have been selling influential advertising and Berkshire Hathaway is by far their biggest customer."
Warren E. Buffett, CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, doesn't see anything wrong with this. "It is true that we have purchased advertising streams with Netflix. It only makes sense - after all, almost 20% of our nationwide resources are dedicated to Netflix accounts streaming television shows and movies. It is a cost-effective means of reaching a population we normally would not be able to reach."
What about the advertising being subliminal - isn't there something wrong with that? "The Federal government has stated that subliminal advertising on television in unethical and illegal," answered Buffett. "The internet is a different story. We go through a proxy server that avoids New Zealand because it is completely illegal there - otherwise it is just a gray area. And when we're talking about billions of dollars that can go to assist other people, I'm willing to take a few small risks."
Netflix has several other customers. "I've seen advertising proposals come through for the New York Yankees, McDonald's, Kroger Foods, and the NFLPA just in the last week," our source reports. "People are getting on board while this is still legal because it is a huge revenue generator."
W. Reed Hastings, CEO of Netflix, says there is nothing illegal or unethical going on. "We simply follow the wishes of all of our customers. You want $8 streaming - you've got it! You want new ways of reaching new customers - you've got it! We have not received one customer complaint yet about this process."
So how many customers actually know about the subliminal advertising? "Few, if any," admits Hastings. "But if we ever got a complaint from a customer about this, we would immediately remove the advertising from their streams and eliminate their access to $8 per month streaming."
Donovan Perry, 31, of Rancho Cucamonga, doesn't see anything wrong with this setup. "Why not let people try to make a quick buck while people are enjoying movies? It doesn't hurt us, it helps them - sounds like it is a win/win situation." Perry leaned forward after answering the question and whispered, "Have you seen a McDonald's around here? I've been dying for some McNuggets for some reason lately."
"Things are only going to start getting worse if this keeps up," our source warns. "Pretty soon you're going to see people going crazy for products and food that they normally would never eat and this is going to affect employment, family life, and public safety. I don't want to see a world where people are exposed to advertising 24/7 and we're almost there."
"It's time to make a change."
ANTISWEEP: THE BEST RESEARCH GUY EVER.
Or on Twitter: