|Mark Reynolds has always been right when it comes to the|
conspiracies he publishes on his website. Unfortunately no one
takes him seriously because he doesn't have any flashing
GIFs on his site.
Unfortunately people don't read his stuff. That means the government doesn't really care about him, and that drives Reynolds nuts. "People need to hear the messages I get," Reynolds told us. "What the US Government does in secret is a crime against humanity. People need to know so that they can rise up and stick it to the man."
The primary reason behind his lack of traffic is that he has a rather normal website design. "Apparently to have a good conspiracy theory website, you're required to have animated and/or flashing GIFs incorporated throughout your site," commented Reynolds. "I don't use those because I think they look tacky and I figured I wouldn't be taken seriously." Reynolds sighed. "I've given up trying to figure people out."
Dr. Marion Mays, the Executive Director of the American Society for Secret Conspiracies & Original Thought Training [ASSCOT], says this is a common problem. "Many of our members take themselves way too seriously and in doing so, have a way too serious website, newsletter, and general correspondence with their potential readers," said Mays. "The reason why the flashing GIF works so well is that it engages the reader to want to look at the information, whether they want to or not, absorb that information, and then believe that it is real."
Reynolds tells us that he's going to give it a try maybe next week in order to save his self-esteem. "I don't really want to add them at all, but if it was I need to do to get traffic than so be it."
Why not do it right away? Reynolds sighed. "I can't do it this week because I need to research why Obama is pushing a jobs bill for Americans. Distractions of this level mean that a serious event is going to happen worldwide - maybe the assassination of Putin over in Russia or something. I'd be on your toes if your rich, famous, or a politician."