Police Stumped After Murder/Suicide Mistaken For Horsemaning

A photo of the grisly murder scene.

MIAMI, FL - Residents are both terrified and mortified after discovering that a murder/suicide occurred on one of their famous beaches yesterday. Even more disturbing for many residents is the fact that police ignored the bodies for several hours.

"Yeah... we thought it was just a couple homeless midgets horsemaning out there," admitted Acting Chief Manuel Orosa of the City of Miami police force. "That's totally our bad."

Horsemaning is the next form of planking when it comes to social network photography. It involves two people, one appearing to be a decapitated body, with the other person pretending to be the decapitated head.

Jorge Gonzalez, 48, of Miami, tells us that there is no excuse for leaving two bodies on the beach. "One of them was fully decapitated!" exclaimed Gonzalez. "Can you imagine the amount of blood that was out there? Can you imagine the smell that was out there? My God! What is this country coming too when your very own police think that two midgets horsemaning out on the beach late at night is normal?"

Orosa, to his credit, has been extremely apologetic. "Rest assured that I will be doing everything in my power to prevent such an oversight from ever happening again." Orosa shook his head. "We treat decapitation very seriously around here, you know. There might be some weed stuffed in a head or something."

Authorities are not releasing the names of the victim or the suspect until family members are notified, though we do know that both individuals were a part of the same midget family. Autopsies are not planned due to the obvious nature of the deaths.

"It's just sad, so very sad," said Orosa. "But there's no need to lose your head over this - we'll have everything wrapped up quickly."