|New "Robocop" Officer Pioter Ramses|
DETROIT, MI – It has long been known that Detroit is struggling worse then most major cities with the long recession and prolonged weak national economy. However few outside the city really knew how deep in red tape the city is, until today’s unveiling of the newest member of the legendary Robocop Division.
Mayor Dave Bing introduced OCP Crime Prevention Unit 012 at a morning press conference and addressed some of the correlating issues.
“As you know Omni Consumer Products has gone out of business now that Chapter 11 reorganization has failed,” said Bing. “With that so did a great deal of our funding and tech support for the program.”
Bing went on to explain that grants and support from the Department of Defense helped maintain the OCP Division, but at less then half the cost previously. However, he insisted that it would go forward and that technological improvements since 1987, as well as the introduction of the Murphy unit, meant that the newest OCP Officer was more than capable of dealing with Detroit’s growing gang problem.
“We will continue to rebuild this great city,” said Bing. “Now I would like to introduce Officer Pioter Ramses, who will be the leader of our renaissance as a city and champion against crime.”
“Um, good mornig,” Ramses said in a stilted computer assisted voice. “I would just like to thank Mayor Bing and the OCP doctors and team for this opportunity.”
Ramses then responded to a call in the
region and began his new life. Dr. David Rush then stepped forward to explain that much of the new weaponry didn't actually do anything except produce sound and noise which is why the officer with the best physical condition on the force was chosen. "Let's face it," said Rush. "Criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot, and when faced with Pete's appearance and a working foam gun they'll give up... we hope." Delta City