|That's the best bacon collar head we've seen.|
Photo By: Gage Skidmore
Spokesperson Myra Banks tells us that they had to get Ron Paul onto the Hanes bandwagon because they had never seen such a great representation of their advertising campaign on anyone before. "Mr. Paul sported a fabulous bacon collar on his forehead last night on national television," said Banks. "We felt that it was only right to compensate him for his efforts in sporting such a historic look."
Ron Paul was grateful to accept the promise of compensation. "We all know that it takes a lot of money to fight big government, big bureaucracy, and everything else that Democrats and liberal Republicans bring to the table," he said. "I'm thankful that Hanes has gotten on board the train of common sense and hopefully together we can make some much needed changes for the people of this great country."
Rick "Jim Dick" Perry was the first to jump on the idea of criticizing the donation. "We all know that this is a political stunt meant to win over Hanes voters and is just another classic example of special interest funding that is ruining today's politics," Perry told us. "If I'm elected President, the first thing I'll do is sign an executive order banning things like this from happening."
Paul doesn't take Perry too seriously. "He's just jealous that I got my Hanes deal and he didn't get the Just For Men deal he was hoping for," Paul said. "That's probably because Perry doesn't smoke enough weed."
The donation from Hanes is expected some time within the next 2 weeks. Terms of the donation were not disclosed.