|Uncle Mike gives sage and sometimes uncouth love advice.|
That's what 20 years of marriage can do to a man.
Dear Concerned in Carson City:
Congrats on finding whores! They are like the best things in life behind a banana birthday cake, a night with my Uncle Kevin, and wearing pantyhose. Trust me on the pantyhose thing.
Yeah, I see your point. There are a lot of crazy people in this world right now and people get offended at the slightest things. I can remember the day I could say "chink" without people thinking I was slandering slanty-eyed people, not to mention I could say the word "spic" without having people think I was referring to the gardner who my Uncle Kevin secretly bangs on Thursdays. People should just grow the fuck up, if you ask me, but that's never going to happen.
I don't like the sound of "Freedom" whores myself, Concerned in Carson City. I like the idea of "Free" whores, but that's a different story. And yeah, you might offend someone by calling your girl a "French" whore because they view it as un-American, but these are also the same people who haven't gotten laid in 20 years and play with guns because they're too afraid to masturbate properly.
Tell you what - if you're really concerned about someone blowing your head off because you call your girl a "French" whore, then just keep your mouth shut and don't say anything. You've paid enough - your mouth shouldn't be open anyways - hers should.