Custodian Arrested for Crop Dusting in School and Making Students Sick

TIPTON, MO – “I can’t believe that man was allowed to work in a school or around children.  Someone is responsible for hiring that idiot and they’re gonna pay.”  Laura Staner is not the only parent who feels that way in this quiet town southwest of Columbia.  Many parents want the principal and certain members of the school board to be fired for not doing a thorough background check before hiring district custodian Ralph Morrowson.  “That man,” Staner continued, “has been working with our children for 12 years.  How many students have gone to the doctor for the flu when they were actually being poisoned?”


The incident that has so many community members in an uproar is when custodian Ralph Morrowson was arrested last week after a two-week investigation by school district officials and local law enforcement.  Tipton Elementary School administrators started the official investigation when they tried to figure out why so many of their students were frequently having episodes of nausea, vomiting, headaches, and a few cases of blurred vision.  “We took all of the necessary health and safety precautions to rule out gas leaks and mold exposure,” stated school district spokesperson Barry Benner, “and all the tests came back negative.  We were, quite honestly, stumped until we caught a break after a cafeteria worker was overheard talking about Mr. Morrowson in the school office.”

According to the investigation report, the cafeteria worker was overheard talking about Mr. Morrowson and how he is constantly “Crop Dusting” in the lunchroom while the students are eating.  Crop Dusting is a term used to describe someone who farts and walks around so he or she can spread the smell around a certain area.  It appears that the Kindergartners, First Graders, and Second Graders have been receiving the brunt of the Methane Gas Exposure for the past few months.  “We had students getting sick, similar to flu symptoms, during lunch and it had nothing to do with the food preparation.  Of course, it didn’t help that our lunch room is very small and closed in like a box,” said Benner.  After hearing the cafeteria workers conversation, Tipton Elementary School administrators asked the lunchroom monitor to watch Mr. Morrowson and to see if he was Crop Dusting.  The lunchroom monitor reported back the next day that it was happening.  School administrators spoke with Ralph Morrowson privately but he denied any such action and so a district investigation was launched.

The investigation goes into detail of how an out-of-town law enforcement official came in to eat lunch with a nephew in the first grade and not only witnessed Mr. Morrowson Crop Dusting but also inhaled some of the stench that the children have been subjected to over the past three months.  The law enforcement official, who described experience as putrid and inhumane, removed Mr. Morrowson from the cafeteria and escorted him into the school office where the local authorities were contacted.  Ralph Morrowson was arrested for endangering children and was removed from the building.  During the questioning at the police station, Morrowson admitted to Crop Dusting and explained that he had a daily diet of boiled eggs, tuna fish, bean burritos with salsa, broccoli, and tomato juice everyday for the past year.


While Ralph Morrowson states that he was just crop dusting for fun, the Tipton police department did not find it funny or enjoyable while questioning Ralph in a small room and were forced continue the questioning in a holding cell where there was better ventilation.  While Morrowson waits for his day in court, the community continues to search for justice.  “We can’t believe this happened to our children,” said PTA member Laura Staner, “This is not Auschwitz and a Nazi Gas Chamber.  This is an elementary school!  Someone is going to pay for hiring that Gas Monster and we’re not going to rest until it happens.”