Octomom & 30 Kid Man: A Match Made in Heaven?

Octomom. Courtesy of TMZ.com. For more photos,
check out the original article.

You've probably heard of Nadya Suleman, though you likely know her much better as "Octomom." You have also likely heard of Desmond Hatchett, who has fathered 30 children and is struggling to provide for them as he works a minimum wage job in the State of Tennessee.

Some might call for a celebrity death match. Others might call for a Fox boxing match ala Tonya Harding. Not us here at The Pummelo, however. What do we think they should do?

We think the two of them should hook up.

After all, Octomom is on state benefits for her 14 children because she makes less than $114,000 per year - even though she is doing porn. And Hatchett pays out $1.49 per month to some kids because he spends more time making babies with 11 baby mamas instead of progressing in a career. So it seems like these two would be a match made in heaven.

Forget Kate Plus 8. Forget the Duggars. Let's get a family together that has 44 children between the two of them, put them into a building like Big Brother, and make it a weekly series. It could be your savior, Netflix, because you keep taking off the good movies and putting on stuff before my mother was born. Amazon Prime? You could take the shares away from Netflix by producing your own series. And what about you, Fox? Couldn't you use a ratings boost like nothing else?

I guarantee you this would be reality series gold. And the best part about making this reality series is that it will make all of us feel much, much better about our own situations, which means we'll all tune in to watch it every week so we can laugh at their misery and feel good. After all, I've got 4 kids that are 3 and under. Imagine have 40 more kids to take care of? No thank you.

There's other plus sides to this as well. It'll get Octomom off of welfare. It'll allow Hatchett to pay his kids something that they truly deserve beyond just a Hershey chocolate bar once a month. It'll allow all 44 kids to have a shot at a decent life and at the very least make them all famous so that they might be able to get a college education that is guaranteed. You could even have Jerry Springer host and narrate the show for the extra touch of classy sleaziness.

And I can hear people now saying "Come on - we'd never watch crap like that!" Please fool. If the Baptists go sneak out on Friday nights to pick up wine coolers from the liquor store, then we know that millions will sneakily watch this show and tell no one about it. It'll be the richest elephant in the room in the history of elephants that are in the room. You know it. We know it. So let's make this happen.

And when you do, remember you had The Pummelo to thank for this brilliantly horrible idea that is going to bring in millions. You're welcome.