Speaker Of The Grouse: Culture War Is Over We Won!

Hello seekers of snickerdoodles!  (Notice the more polite introduction, like the President I’m evolving) I’m back to give a voice to the disturbed. As always, I remind you, I’m not a happy guy - I’m belligerent and offensive. The greatest man I never met, George Carlin, described me once, “I don't have pet peeves; I have major psychotic fucking hatreds, okay. And it makes the world a lot easier to sort out.” So let’s do some sorting shall we?

Basically I wanted to talk about the same thing that has been on everyone’s mind this week, the Culture War and the vicious attacks on traditional sodomy, or traditional marriage, or marriage sodomy or some stupid label Faux News has created.

Tuesday the State of North Carolina decided that they are petrified that homersexeruals, or gay folks might want to visit their state, I guess who the hell knows what they think about other than basketball and tobacco. So as you know the voters of the Tarheel state voted to bar gay people from getting married, and allowing civil unions of any type. Show that legendary anchorman Kent Brockman was right, “Democracy simple does not work.”

So the was a loud backlash immediately on the internet, which is where all communication is now done, it was fast and hard and overwhelming which caused two things; A. President Obama found he had evolved and thought marriage equality a good thing and B. Conservative knuckledragged down and tightened their fortress mentality.

So being the person I am I had some thoughts, well not just thoughts but flew into a rage and burned down the local erotic bakery after buying $1,300 worth of vagina cupcakes, see I’m straight as a Kansas highway.

My raging fury in order:

Look you stupid fucking wack jobs the state shouldn’t be into the business of deciding anything but civil unions any way. That’s it that’s all “Marriage,” is a made up political bullshit thing and has always been political bullshit which aligned kingdoms and other shit. Believe in it all you want, believe it is sacred but recognize it hasn’t always been that way. It has “Evolved” and now really should be done only in Churches, Mosques, Synagogues and so forth. If you believe it is sacred and not a contract, then keep it separate from the state. Otherwise SHUT THE FUCK UP! Because the state should never be involved in the creation of anything “Sacred” that idea is just fucking stupid.

I’m really sick of the “Christian Church” being involved in the creation of laws based on morals, morals are always evolving and there is no absolute truth. Oh there are some things I believe in, I believe human life sacred, yeah that word, but the state doesn’t the state kills people all the fucking time, big stuff like wars and the death penalty to small stuff like not providing preventative care universally or making sure real meat without steroids and antibiotics is affordable but they don’t give shit about life except how it effects the bottom line.

Also by the way the references that you decent Christians use to frame your arguments are misconceived, you quote passages and verses out of context, ignore others in the same books that don’t apply to your argument and completely ignore of moral foundations outlined by St. Paul. Face for a good 75 percent of you dicks being Christian is a way of separating yourself from people you think are less than you, the injunctions from Christ to Love one another ignored in favor of passages that make it sound like God is Santa and going to make you prosperous as Croesus. Own it, the Jesus you know isn’t the one who kicked the money lenders out and bent to save a whore, the Jesus you worship is purely American and loves tax breaks and hates Mooslims and Darkies. 

By the way I will restate my rule, you want to play in the game of legislation then we get to tax the shit out of your property and earnings!

Some bozo also went on about procreation and science and shit, fine did you know that 1 out of every 100 live births is a deviation of the accepted standard norm of “Man” or “Woman” that’s right there are deviations and mutations from Klinefelter (XXY Chromosome) syndrome to Hypospadias (urethral opening between corona and tip of glans penis) and a hundred things. Also ever spent time with animals, or watched a nature show or more importantly talked with a zoologist or biologist, lots of mammals exhibit homosexual behaviors, dolphins, dogs, lions all across nature.

So both your Biblical and Natural arguments are based on false and wrong information ya stupid fucks!

Now on to the “I’ve Never Been So Proud! Thank You Mr. President” gibberish! Fuck that shit! Look I like the man, but really think he has evolved that much and if there wasn’t a backlash against North Carolina he would have gone there in an election year? Really? Here’s a clue: NO FUCKING WAY! Obama is a politician, a smart one he knows the way history is trending he isn’t doing something overly courageous.

Now I’m quite sure that the Barrack Obama who was smoking with the Weathermen or whoever the fuck in the 70s was and probably still is completely relaxed about gay people doing whatever the hell they feel like doing and wants them to have equal rights. This statement on Good Morning America though is the official press strategy of this presidency. Now it is a good thing, a very good thing and as a political development it is substantial; a president who openly accepts gay marriage is meaningful because it marks the evolution and development of our political institutions. The president is the chief diplomat and practical face of the United States, his endorsement of gay equality will have a trickle effect, there is no going back the future is now, if Mitt Romney doesn’t also carry this platform forward the next Republican will, and Romney has to for credibility because his former statements as Governor of Massachusetts were to the effect he was a moderate and “Would be better than Ted (Kennedy)” regarding gay rights.

I believe the President made a calculated and political move, purely, the fact is if not Obama then whoever is up next would have, the tide of history and the progression of human rights require it.

Frankly I hope this election is a fucking bloody slaughter and that the GOP loses in a crushing mandate, not one about the economy, this time it isn’t the economy stupid its about human, women’s, gay’s, everyone’s rights. It is about simply getting rid of dinosaur thinking so we can get on to the important economic and human rights battles of the next generation.

The "War on Culture" is and always has been stupid, if anyone uses that phrase or is concerned about traditional values or traditional marriage ignore them they are not worth the effort. I repeat Not worth your FUCKING TIME!

It’s over, if you all follow through and kick the bigots out of office on every level in November. Even if you don’t it’s over it will just take a few years for the victory parades to be combined with pride parades, then maybe all the floats can be in the Fourth of July parades.