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Death & Dentistry For 5/02/12:
If today is your birthday: A
birthday should be a day of contemplation about where you are now and where you
want to be in the future. If having BDSM Sex in a kindergarten classroom is the
answer then you’re on course.
Aries: Just don't fall into the trap of believing
what you see now because of the Ketamine and DXM you had for breakfast.
Taurus: The lovely planet
Neptune is visiting your 5th House of Indifference making you totally apathetic towards the mysterious
longings of the human heart.
Gemini: You will be doing
everything in a rush today which sometimes results in small accidents like running
over the neighbors four year old or stubbing your toe.
Cancer: Holdups, obstructions and
obstacles are all necessary to keep you in your place as a wretched obedient failure.
Leo: You’ll be working in close proximity to
others today which will create uncomfortable odors and make your job of killing
the mayor of Cincinnati unpleasant.
Virgo: Now that the Sun is in retrograde
in your 5th House of Loathing you might find yourself hating the FBI agents monitoring
you a little less.
Libra: Your co-workers and
friends will make assurances today regarding your crush on Joseph Gordon Levitt
that are impossible to fulfill.
Scorpio:
Sagittarius: There's a strong quantity
of craving and desire in your life
today so it is a great day to play a few rounds of “Hungry, Hungry
Hippos” as foreplay with the wife.
Capricorn: You must find a
way to switch a catastrophe into a mere tragedy this afternoon or be stuck with
hobo-stench on you forever.
Aquarius: Until
this afternoon you might not even be aware of your current hatred toward pharmaceutical
reps wearing Daffy Duck neckties.
Pisces: You’ve just
gotten used to the routine of everyday living, but with today’s cataclysmic toe-nail cutting
accident that all changes.
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