UPDATED: Charles Carreon(TM) Sued for Discrimination Against Cancer Patients and Animals

UPDATED 6/24/2012: If you're some sort of douche who trademarks his name and sues everyone named John Doe for infringing on that trademark, then you're name must be Charles Carreon(TM).


SAN FRANCISCO, CA – What started out as a complaint and a few jabs of satire over intellectual property rights, has now gone completely nuclear.  The initial confrontation between the FunnyJunk web site and Matthew Inman, creator of the web comic The Oatmeal, was settled after Inman complained that FunnyJunk was illegally using his comics on their web site.  FunnyJunk took down most of Matthew’s work and the issue had been settled until lawyer Charles Carreon(TM) [yes, he really has TRADEMARKED HIS NAME, and because we know this, we've marked it as such] got involved.  One year after the initial dispute, Carreon(TM) threatened to sue Inman over alleged statements that he made about FunnyJunk in one of his web comics.  As a joke, Inman arranged a fund raising campaign and would give the $20,000, the amount Charles Carreon(TM) demanded from Mr. Inman, to the American Cancer Society and the National Wildlife Federation.  All FunnyJunk was to receive was a new Oatmeal comic Matthew had produced.

Matthew’s decision to choose humor and Philanthropy did not appease the attention hungry lawyer so he filed a lawsuit with the U.S. District Court - Northern District of California on June 15.  The lawsuit not only names Matthew Inman but also includes IndieGoGo, the National Wildlife Federation, and the American Cancer Society as defendants in the case.  While Carreon(TM) rants about the misuse of charitable funds, inciting Cyber-vandalism, and creating a bogus Twitter account, other organizations have come to the forefront to assist Mr. Inman, the National Wildlife Federation, and the American Cancer Society.  While no one asked for the assistance, the additional legal and social support is welcomed as a media firestorm is brewing around Charles Carreon(TM) and his lawsuit.

The Pummelo has learned that The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) and Human Rights First are pretty sure that they will file a civil suit against Mr. C for his discrimination against cancer patients and animals.  Our source, whom asked to remain anonymous until the legal paperwork has been filed, states that, “With his lawsuit against Mr. Inman, who wants to donate money to the National Wildlife Federation and the American Cancer Society, it is clear that Mr. C discriminates against animals and people with a deadly disease. Therefore, we believe that we need to file suit against Mr. C for discriminating against a Philanthropic individual like Mr. Matthew Inman and the reputable organizations mentioned in his lawsuit before he goes psycho crazy and files a lawsuit against us for thinking about filing a lawsuit."


"It appears,” our anonymous source continued, “that Mr. C has bit off more than he can chew with this legal action.  What’s he going to do next, file a lawsuit for all of the naked Octomom pictures floating around because it brings back awkward memories of his own mother?”

The Pummelo has also learned that Mr. C's non-profit religious organization, American Buddah, is allegedly involved in a lawsuit with the publishing conglomerate Penguin Group for uploading four copyrighted books for their online library and the Penguin Group holds the rights to the books. “Isn’t that considered pirating?” our anonymous source commented.  Neither Mr. C nor his wife would respond to our emails about the alleged Penguin Group lawsuit by publishing time.

In a recent conversation with Forbes.com, Carreon(TM) spoke about his current lawsuit carousel by saying, “Being unpopular gets you places.”  If that’s the case, Mr. C, you had better pack some sunscreen and some ice water for your next destination.