|A caption from the new Octomom video released by Wicked|
Pictures. Word is that the iron prematurely steamed.
Irons are really getting off.
As you can see here, Octomom Nadya Suleman is about to give that poor little iron something that it will never forget. Though we don't know the final outcome of the video as of yet, of course, we have heard that the iron was so overwhelmed with Octomom's hand powers that it prematurely steamed.
Stay at home mom Shirley Jackson, 38, of Boston, MA, tells us that she was horrified to see the stills of the new video. "I've never seen a woman handle an iron like a dirty whore before!" she declared. "I know I sure wouldn't want my children to see me giving my iron a handle job! And once it gets on the internet, it stays on the internet!"
Jacob Flemming, a public relations officer with Hamilton Beach Brands Inc, a major household appliance seller that includes irons, tells us that he expects iron sales to jump dramatically at Walmart after people see the video. "I truly believe the iron will become the next vibrator," he said. "Women are going to want to give their irons pleasure just like they give themselves pleasure." Then he chuckled. "You might even see some guys get involved with this as well!"
How much did Octomom get for steaming up an iron? A reported $8,000. "That's not bad money considering all she had to do was turn the iron's dials back and forth a few times and insert an attachment," said Kathy Stallword, 23, of Montrose, CO. "For eight grand, I would have put both my hands on that little guy."
Religious groups are surprisingly supportive of the video. "The way I look at it, those who end up watching this video are going to want to come to Jesus to have their sins forgiven and their memories washed clean," said Dr. Philip Maxington, senior pastor of the Woolworth Fellowship Center in Dallas, TX. "Only Jesus can forgive you for watching that, and only Jesus can help you unsee what you have seen if it is in His will."
As for Octomom and the iron, well... they have no comment until the video is released.