|Reginald Kennedy says that Americans are|
tired of flip floppers who aren't flip floppers.
"Oh yeah. We expect Ross Perot numbers at least," Reginald Kennedy, who is the head of this new party and will be on the ballot this November. "We might even win some delegates and lock up the entire process for awhile."
What is the new party that Kennedy leads? The Conservative Hypocrites of America Party, or CHAP.
"At CHAP, we believe that you can believe whatever you want to believe at any given time," Kennedy told us. "But we'll judge you about what you believe when it conflicts with what we believe when we want to believe it."
What kind of overall platform does CHAP have? "We stand for individual beliefs," Kennedy said. "We feel that the American people are tired of politicians that flip flop on the issues when it serves their own needs, but pretend to have Christian values and promote honesty and integrity to their home voters. We're turning that on its head and saying 'Yeah! We might change our minds. We might do something totally different than what we told you. In fact, we're already thinking about it.' And we're finding that people are ok with that."
So how will CHAP fix the economy. "We're going to nuke China so they stop buying up all the oil," Kennedy said. "Then we'll invade all of the collective Middle Eastern countries to take control of the world's oil reserves so that Americans can have 99 cent gas again. When that happens, we'll probably party hearty."
And will this take a tax increase? "Of course not!" said Kennedy. "There's going to be no new taxes in my campaign."
If there is an unlikely vote to make Kennedy President? "If I'm the second Kennedy elected as President of the United States, the first thing I'm doing is writing checks to every American for $1 million," he told us. "Once I've done that, I'll have NBC bring back Farscape and Firefly. And that's a promise you can go to the bank on."